Holding The Explosions

How long could you hold yourself from a huge anger?
My sister once told me she hated herself just because she had a bad anger management. If she's easy get annoyed, she'll tell you immediately. It's like she gets so easy to express that she was upset and explained why.

I guess that's why I envy her.

I was the type of person who can't express my anger. It's always hanging between my throat and my burning heart: the words I wanted to spit. It's a big exhale coming out instead.

This afternoon I was upset with something from the job that my office pals weren't helping at all. They know I was busy, but they keep calling me to do things and what I really wanted to say was: "GET THE FUCK DUDE, DO YOUR OWN BUSINESS LIKE I DID ALL MY BUSINESSES!"

But a massive exhale coming out with a fucking little nod. I feel like I am the dummies person on earth because I can't express my anger. Holding a pillow I'll cry in the end of the day like always. Such a dumb ass.

I want my sister, badly.