The Cold War

I was laughing at the picture above because my dad is not yet promoted to be a grandpa just simply because he's not the best father? Hmm.. make sense to me.

Oh, I'm not sure this is a pleasing news but my parents were finally reconciled like two weeks ago (previous episode: my dad caught on cheating and he's leaving home for about two years without news) and I was like having a cold war with him ever since.

After he came back to my mother's house and for another awkward days in the same roof with him, I better staying still in my room while he's watching telly in living room. I was just saying few words if he asked me about something. I never opening up a conversation with him unless I need something. I never bring him water, made him a cup of coffee, or any of things or behavior a daughter should done for a father as a form of respect.

I just couldn't.

Toward their remarried, my dad never officially talking about what had happened before his two-years disappearance to us, his children or even my mom (maybe, I don't know if they've already talked about this).

He was like skip the explanation part (which is very essential) and get going to the teary part while saying "I'm going to pay all the things I've done."

Paying with what, dude? Money? Sorry, I made my own already.

Umm, and what kinda things you've done? Please explain in two thousand words essay.

Can you purchase disappointment? Hell NO, dad.

Am I still mad?

I don't know.

I just don't feel like to share any of my private thoughts or feeling with him. Or discuss my future live, or talking about man with him.

He wasted all of the time he should have done something like that, he was never there when we really need him.

So.. I guess I never really have a picture of a guarding father (or mother). But it's all okay because I have my siblings on my back, we are team Salam, remember?

So when my mom having this reconciliation, for me it was like choosing between her husband and her children. And she chooses my dad. I was like, okay go a head, we don't mind, enjoy your life and be happy, bye.

But, I really mean it.

My best wish for them is to find what they are looking for. Happiness? They only know.

But the cold war still happening, I don't know when it's gonna be over. I might need something to burn out my heart so it won't getting colder.

Need to find a fire, bye!