February 04, 2017

Day3 - Living Away from Home

It's Saturday and I got a visitor, my lil sister from Cibinong, she's an artist. She's been joining an art community based in Bogor which a couple of week soon gonna held an exhibition. So here she was, try to find some kinda inspiration. Though I was inspired too by her visit.

Have been living alone miles away from my family since collage I always feel okay with it. Nothing's wrong with warteg's menus in the afternoon and having instant noodles for supper. Nothing's wrong with washing clothes with bare hands. Sharing bathrooms with people. sewing a disjointed buttons, washing dishes after meal, what else? Oh, ironing clothes, task I really got lazy to do.

But then I realized something was wrong. It was a couple year ago, I was still a student  when I went out with my two elder girl friends, probably six or eight years older than me. It was almost midnight, we just finished watching a show when their phone rang just almost in the same moment. Yes, a parent call.

Where are you? 
What time will you arriving home? 
Be careful. 

That was the line they both got that I didn't. And that was cool, my parent never gave me a routine call though. Our family never had that intently connection. I was living in dormitory for four or five years in Bekasi, my parents did accompanying me to find my first dorm but never visit me after. It took only my graduation to have my mom visits my dorm.

Just a couple week ago my office friend told me that her father was insist visiting her dorm "just wanna see", and she somehow didn't like it. Well, I don't know if my dad do the same, I probably did not like it too.

Then I jumped to an assumptions why my parent never called or visited me:
1. They don't care.
2. They believe in me.

I took number 2 option just because I felt my parents assumed that I could take care of myself over here the way every adult did.

February 02, 2017

Day2 - Holding The Explosions

How long could you hold yourself from a huge anger?
My sister once told me she hated herself just because she had a bad anger management. If she's easy get annoyed, she'll tell you immediately. It's like she gets so easy to express that she was upset and explained why.

I guess that's why I envy her.

I was the type of person who can't express my anger. It's always hanging between my throat and my burning heart: the words I wanted to spit. It's a big exhale coming out instead.

This afternoon I was upset with something from the job that my office pals weren't helping at all. They know I was busy, but they keep calling me to do things and what I really wanted to say was: "GET THE FUCK DUDE, DO YOUR OWN BUSINESS LIKE I DID ALL MY BUSINESSES!"

But a massive exhale coming out with a fucking little nod. I feel like I am the dummies person on earth because I can't express my anger. Holding a pillow I'll cry in the end of the day like always. Such a dumb ass.

I want my sister, badly.

February 01, 2017

Day1 - The Unimportant Purchases

First day of February, I went to a grocery store and found myself amusingly stare at a green jewelry organizer after I failed to create a do-it-yourself one. Well, my DIY project could actually work if only I did it in the weekend. You know, I had no time in the weekend, so I bought those green cute little thing for 2.5$. I love cheap things! ~

Then I remembered, last month I bought a pair of imitation iPhone headphones for only 3$ in a stationery near my neighborhood. The output sound was okay, not terrible. And the best part was: in a box it was consist of two pair of headphones, black and white. Yes, I got two new headphones. I'm beyond happy.

Talking about a pair of headphone, I was lately listening to Celia Pavey, a 2013 The Voice Australia's participant. I like her because this particular video of her sing a cover song Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz.

Though I like the original one, but Celia's version was totally different. Which was excellent for me. With her version, the song was melodically sweet and most importantly; sing-able!

Oh, I forgot to made an introduction of #30HariBlogging that I challenge myself to write fully a month, Yeay! But this time I am all alone. A couple years ago I completed the challenge with 7 other pals, and it sure had more fun. But today I didn't know if those pals still remembered their blog's password. And I had no time (I actually always forgot) to knock on their phones just to ask "Let's do #30HariBlogging again, shall we?". Maybe next time I'll ask them.

So, here's my first writing.

January 10, 2017

Ciremai: Where I Found Things Matter during Climbing

Holo 2017, this is my first writing on you. I have something to tell from my last bittersweet journey to the roof of Ciremai Mountain.

Yes, a mountain. A place where Indonesian youth mostly made their background of Instagram feeds with somekinda wise-like caption and hastag as the ornaments. Tsk.

Lemme get it right. I never like to put myself in labels 'anak gunung', 'pendaki', or 'pendaki cantik' *puke over myself* or anything close. Never had in mind to conquer Indonesia summits existed. No. I just simply love to let myself be in any another places beside my current nest to have some awesome journey whatsoever. I just simply say yes on the very first adventure-call.

Anyway, on my way up, I kinda disturbed by a fellow that had this anyone-please-bring-my-carrier-I-am-exhausted kinda thought in the very beginning of the journey. FYI, this very ‘experienced’girl had made herself over four summits (include; Tampomas, Lembu, Cikurai, Ciremai,) and using #pendakicantik hastag on her Instagram post, lmao. I mean she called herself mountaineer but keep that kinda thought in her brain? Meh.

Well, if you feel you can't carry that burden of your belongings while taking sheers road, better off to the city. Be a city traveler instead. There are lots of hotels you don't need to carry tons of weight everywhere. Easy.

If you insisted to go over summit, please find a fucking porter. Do not be a damn burden to your travel mates, they had even more weight to carry on (if you even notice). Even if you are a female, wait, no. Foremost if you are a female creature, don't act like you are weak. It’s a mountain, you comprehend properly, suck that pain. Don’t make that ‘emancipation’ you bragging about worthless, woman.

But then, off course no one agreed with me because people you met on the mountain were the nicest people on earth, seriously. They will help you anyway.

I don't know, it’s kinda awkward for me glancing at some people awesome picture and almighty quotes of their Instagram post, while I acknowledge their spirit lack of power back then. Well, I guest they've learned something after all.

For me, what I learned during climbing was; you need to bring a spirit fully charged of independence, enthusiasm, and self-responsibility. That’s all. Because the awesome Instagram post was just a bonus, how much you acknowledge your inner power and spirit along the way was the only reasonable reason why you went climbing. Didn't you?

*There's also a first-timer fellow that amaze me because she's very kind and had a powerful spirit. Even tough her boyfriend came along, she'd never act spoiled or having this darling-please-bring-my-carrier-I-am-exhausted behavior. She had responsibility over herself, that was awesome. I like her :)