April 27, 2018

Encourage Other

 Photo by Bino Storyteller on Unsplash

A good thing about having friend is when they told you honestly about your capability on something even when you don't ask one. Somehow it enlightened another side of you, like sun rising inside you. Have you ever feel that?

I was growing up in an artsy kinda family. Art is a superpower we have inside our blood. That's probably because what my dad capable of. Include playing music instruments (traditional and modern), painting, sketching, sculpture, design, and he often getting fussy about things he felt less incoherent trough his artsy-scanning eyes.

During years we grow up together, my siblings started to find their art sense. The male were having a good shoot in music, some of them were joining bands. Drawing and sketch more inherent to the girls, both of my sister good at drawing characters, creating doodles and comic making. While I doodle my abstract life.

Surrounded by people with art superpower made me asked my self what did I capable of? I don't  play music instruments and I'm not good in drawing.

Only sometimes I think my art superpower arouse, when I saw an advertising poster less artistic and I had this mental-correction. Another time I was good re-design something by imitating others. Then I doubt my art power even exist, when its hard for me to create an original design came from my own imagination.

I thought maybe art isn't my field. Maybe I was good at something without physical prove, something mental.

Until one day in a train vacation a friend told me that I had something not everyone would have. A power to listen and involved honestly in conversation when someone tell their story.

Instantly I feel awesome.

What I am trying to tell was, I really amazed by the way a friend told me that I actually had something special on my own.

Basically, I knew I had it, she just said out loud to convince me.

Thought it could be amazing if I could did it to other. Filling up the energy by telling they had those positive things/attitude and that's what made them special.
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April 08, 2018

My Unexpected No. 04: The Escaped Door


Photo by Garrett Sears on Unsplash

Gladly I was made a right decision to leave my current office because the situation was so fucked up and I can't allowed myself to be the black sheep no more.

The story started a week ago when my only partner was kicked out immediately last minute before April started. She was told to stop working there on Friday and had no chance to find a back up job before she left. Which means.. I became the only one who will in charge on everything and I'm not happy about it. Because it is impossible to handle two brand e-commerce plus a warehouse by two experienced person with a high expectations everything will running smoothly. And now they wanted to cut one leg?

If I could make a analogy, we (me and my partner) were like a two-legs broken chair and really wanted to strengthen our self by adding another leg. But then what we concern doesn't concern them (the company). According to them the best way to make things better was by replacing a leg with the new one. What was wrong in their fucking mind! We are the grassroots who know better. Argh! I was really upset.

For only a couple of days after my partner left, I was stressed out by the things I need to handle alone and if there's an escaped door I would gladly vanished from that cursed place.

But then, the escaped door emerged on Thursday afternoon. Without hesitation I am entering. But the process was not that easy. In order to be vanished from that placed as soon as possible, I need to allow all my payroll vanished too. Even my bosses were blackmailed me. Hahahaha! All I am going to say was: I am taking all the consequences I deserve, and I am not fucking scared.

Well, enough for the bad words.

After all this time, I have been trough good and bad times with a few good people there. Some remain supportive, some just getting suspicious but life is moving on. For two years I've gained a lot: friends, e-commerce/marketing skills, and I really thankful for that. I don't really want to expel myself like this, but this is for the best.

Regarding this still is an early beginning of 2018, I am welcoming a new job, new life and a boyfriend. Oh, how I love my unexpected.

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April 03, 2018

The Linked Fingers

 Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

It was raining outside around eleven pm. The camping ground was having more than ten tents as guests but none was successfully set a bonfire even they wanted to. Near corner the second step ground we set up a tent. It nearly bed time after a five-hour voyage to the spot we lay our tired bodies side to side.

Neighbors chatters faint along as he shoot a simple question to the small dark air inside the tent; "do you want me to label us?"

We've been friends for five years now with three years pausing because life separated us and social media don't involved us. We've just met again as new person early last year.

That particular time, that particular question, in a moment like that I felt my heart beat faster.

After a long pause he asked: "so?" and put a little finger between us as he waited for an answer.

I linked mine to his.

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February 25, 2018

About Someone

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash



I might be wrong to say this, but our companionship may just delaying somewhere in the future. We have actually met somewhere in the past but we forget to light up the match.

Then we met here in a moment where we find ourselves in the most unstable situation, nothing fancy, no future yet, just a tip of realization that we are (at least) not alone.


Let me define you as a diamond inside a rock, the only way to get to you is to crack the covering stone. It sure hard, but I would like to try if you let me.


Bravery is my only sword, to finally throw my deep dark thoughts and showed my shadowy corner beyond anyone I ever invited to.


Imagine we are in the gambling table, I was there waiting for your next move. Winning the game over you was my pleasure. I am such a competitor but believe me, it is the only way you might need me.


Though I'm not sure what you are looking for in life, I hope someday you will found those things in me.
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